Last Change:2017.02.06 20:50:21 / Time:2017.07.26 20:25:08

Phuket HHH Run #1003 - Scribe Report

Once the Hares (JC, Saggy Balls and supposedly Flubba) were summarily iced and sin-binned for laying a long and hot run of over an hour for the FRB's, Flubba was double sin-binnned as a LOSER because he took glory once again by CHEATING, using his usual tactics of non-calling, shortcutting and yelling 'check' when he happened to be out front on the trail.....

Cartoon then brought in Na Hee Man and Duke of Puke, who displayed the recently popularized activity of "HHH fisticuffs" which became prevalent amongst some of Phuket's HHH chapter functions as of late after an absence of many, many years.....Flubba was brought back in the circle yet again to represent his absent mother Haymaker, who displayed her valkyrian traits in a former less peaceful stage of the 98-kilogram Tinned Pear's life when she clubbed his former amour in the head - however, that was a non-HHH function, though worthy enough to christen her.....

HHH fighting as a run offense was followed by (2) prioritizing rugby on TV over the Sat HHH run, as committed by our erstwhile GM, Swollen Colon - he claims to have gained 10 kilos in the past fortnight by consuming some 50 crates of beer singlehandedly (he always has exxagerated); (3) Necrophilia dragging in a sorry bastard who nearly drowned himself, by going 'Ass Over Tit' (his new HHH name!) in an effort to avoid getting his feet wet along with Thai Corruption HHH members Mr. Dick and MSG. (4) Flubba was iced again for elbowing Suzie Klong yet again along the trail - this time she avoided the full wrath and weight of the slob's blubber gut, shoulder and elbow to the head and was not hence jettisoned head-first into a water buffalo wallow pit. Flubba's usual bleatings of innocence were proved untrue by Na Hee Man and Duke of Puke, who bore witness to these aggressive and unsporting acts perpetrated against Suzy Klong on her last two trips in from Californication.....

Eric the Virgin, also from Californication and on his first trip to Phuket, arrived from the airport to the HHH circle to be immediately thrown in the sin bin because another Seppo, Just Add Beer, had asked where the showers were...the GM, being stoned as usual, confused these two tossers and declared they should both be sin binned and educated for confusing him!

All Virgins entered the circle to drink, with the French required to drop to their knees to do so because of their typically cantankerous behavior in Europe as of late.......RainMan was iced for not preventing the downpour which deluged the 1000th HHH run circle at Naithon Beach, and his new girlfriend Placenta was christened as a returning visitor by having her curves doused in the Sin Bin for full visual impact.....

Bullet Rash, our resident public sector spokesman, along with Lick Pig were gobby-chaliced for yakking in the peanut gallery and 2 for 1 and Brunswick were educated by the GM in response to their past similar generosity toward him.....

At this point, Wanda miraculously appeared after hours lost in the jungle and was immediately descended to the position of 'Temporary GM with Full Honors and Responsibilities'.....he immediately sin binned and iced the Hares for getting him lost and then chastised the GM for forgetting to recognize and hammer old Phuket HHHers from bygone days who showed up from about the globe for the 1000th HHH celebration - double dose education seemed in order and was unanimously supported by the circular rabble.....

King Klong as 1st steward iced the Hares and accused them of being 'cunts' for losing so many people on the run. He then congratulated Swollen Colon for doing fuck all with the organizing of the Phuket 1000th HHH event save for choreographing excellent, drunken, long-winded, spontaneous circles! The GM on the ice retorted 'What the fuck else would you expect from me?'! Asteris was recognized for littering local Thai resident front porches with discarded chiclen bones, and all 1000th run stewards were brought in and thanked for being able to think on their feet though drunk and exhausted through the entire ordeal......A skit and poem involving Duke of Puke dying and going to Hell to drink, smoke, gamble, do drugs, cavort with women of ill repute, etc ensued as darkness fell and drunkeness overwhelmed the encircled horde...I can't recall the punchline if there was one.....

Barbie Doll, with just a vestige of his gravelly voice remaining, did a skit as well and predictably and correctly invited the Americans to drink for being so STUPID! Louis the Lip came in for a rendition of his life history, including starting to Hash at 85, shagging at 90, affluence at 95, fast cars, cigars and more and more women at 100 and by 102 old, toothless and broken by a paternity suit! Notty the drunk then spoke to all the kids about washing in the sink, dousing his cornflakes, pouring some toast, getting extra bottles from the milkman, driving away in the car which broke down, drinking with the AAA man who told him there was shit in the carburetor......how often? The Thai female connection were invited in the circle and thanked for who they are and what they do......

GM called for the French amours, Big Fella and French Fellatio and sin binned the Big Fella for allowing his wife to beat him on the cross-island 1000th run and also to note that French Fellatio was bragging to her girlfriends on the internet wit h the comment that 'She Blew Away Big Fella' on the 1000th.....there is little doubt! They also had matching 'his & hers' new running shoes and thus had the thrill of swapping yet another form of body fluid by drinking in the smell of each others toe jam.....

Dog owners Singha and newly named HHHer Behind the Canine drank down downs and sin binned for allowng their pets to piss in the circle. Birthday boy Behind the Canine was also serenaded in standard fashion from a rising chorus of blathering idiots who swayed in and out of the circle.....

My recollection had become rather fuzzy by this point in time, though I seem to recall Swamp Thing asked to provide tips to the chapter on efficient speech delivery, Duke of Puke being called a pig fucker (is he?) and Nutcracker floating about in some sort of tirade......

New member Just Add Beer was congratulated on completing 8 HHH runs in 5 days and other new members Corporal Punishment and Ass Over Tit were thanked for not having a life. Creature and especially her chest were welcomed back after a long absence, and on that pleasant remembrance, the Murkury the RA brought in the hares and the kennel deemed the run a good one......the only dissenter was thrown in the sin bin because (1) he did not go on the run or the walk and (2) he recently got rolled by 2 hookers in Pattaya after they promised joint lewd sexual favors to him before slipping him a mickey just as they started the nasty proceedings.......who is this fuckin guy anyway - does he have a Hash name?

Na Hee Man